Let’s talk about tricks of the mind on itself for a moment (It’s going to get dark in here). Have you ever been holding onto a harmful idea while knowing the the idea will only hurt you. Smokers might relate to this. You can’t quit the habit but you know people who’ve been taken to death by causes directly linked to tobacco use like heart disease or cancer. I smoked for six years before I took leave from that bus ride, whose destination was likely tragic.
I think that it’s easy to ignore the future. We can say, “Life is about the journey, not the destination.” This saying just as well say to me, “The future doesn’t exist. What is now is forever, and the choices you make now will carry you only to a further-actualized image of yourself.” The journey is endless. I don’t know why I think that what is now is forever. It’s just an intuition that carries me.
You might be thinking, “Okay Matt, you’re off the rocker. You lost me at tricks of the mind. What are you getting at here?” Let’s say your roommates have an argument, and it’s none of your business but it’s loud and you have to witness. You feel a moral obligation to speak in ones defense. Do you speak out when you favor one of your roommates, or think that the other is being unfair in their argument? If it’s really none of your business then why do you feel so guilty in your silence… You’re idea of self hinges on how you do or don’t respond to their argument.
I have been living in a studio apartment with my sister, her fiancé and their infant twins for just over two months now. I’ve questioned my position in this house a few times when it’s been hard to get along. Mostly it’s been smooth sailing though- Eating great Italian food and quality time with this side of my family. Other times it’s not been so easy.
I’m holding onto the idea of gratitude though, especially when we don’t all get along. I’m grateful for my place here. My mind might trick me into feeling guilt or sorrow but really I’ve got it great. I’m still on vacation and my only real obligation is to make the most of it. Here are some pictures from the last couple weeks.